The 'Instacouple' Phenomenon

Just for kicks and giggles I read a 2010 special edition of the New Era today titled Dating for Beginners. Most of the information was fairly irrelevant to myself personally but a nice refresher on the dating scene that I've been discussing with my EFY kids all summer. There was however, an article I really liked called Is Dating Dead? 

This article discusses the change in our world from dating to hanging out. Why is dating a dying thing? Because of what some like to call the Instacouple Phenomenon. 

When someone goes on a date it is almost as if that date marks a point of exclusivity.

Think about it in your own life-- if someone asks you out do you often first try to decide if you could see yourself dating them before you answer yes or no?

I sure do. If I want to get to know someone I first stalk them on Facebook then make sure I just happen to show up at the same activities and be in the same groups that they are. A drive past their house or a informative conversation from a friend isn't a bad idea either. I may start up a conversation at a group activity or strategically place myself in a way that they will start one with me. Then I invite them to a game night or a party I'm hosting. And THEN.. THEN a date might be in order.

But would I ever ask them out on a date or accept one without hesitation before all of those steps?

Ehhh.......... maybe. 

If you even go on a date at all it seems that the first date is pretty much the only chance you get. A second date is getting pretty serious.. 

That's not how it should be! Dating is supposed to be a casual and fun way to get to know people. 

Unfortunately, we have this fear of committing to a 3 hour period with someone without being able to define it as something more serious than it really is. 

The article lists 4 contributing factors that are killing the dating scene:

1. Our culture is slaughtering the idea of commitments. Dating is a commitment, hanging out is not.

2. The tradition of men taking the lead is being stomped on by women who see themselves as too strong and independent to let in some chivalry. 

3. TV loves to portray hanging out and the new best thing.

4. The expectations and requirements of a date have sky rocketed.

Seriously, just read the article. It's short and sweet. 

I have a dream... that some day I can go on a date (yes, I'd love to actually go on dates every so often!) and have it be just what it is-- a date. 

Stupid instacouple phenomenon.