Death Cookies

Death Cookie: a sweet compliment before a fatal blow

I've found that the majority of my relationships end with either myself or the guy delivering a death cookie.

My roommate uses 'death cookie' to describe that final conversation that goes a little like this:

I think you're a really incredible person. 

You're smart and funny and beautiful and an amazing girlfriend. 

I really admire that you know what you want and do what it takes to achieve those things. 

I love spending time around you and doing things with you. 

BUT..... I just don't think things are working out and that you're the person I'm supposed to be with forever.

In fact, it almost always goes EXACTLY like that.

Now when I hear the beginnings of a death cookie being delivered I just laugh because I can practically quote it with the sender.

I've been thinking a lot about death cookies this past week, trying to decide the place they hold and their importance in the role they play in relationships.

My primary question- Is it better to have a death cookie or to keep to your diet?

Death cookies can be a lot like real cookies. They're sweet and comforting but can leave you with a stomachache and a fair amount of calories that are going to take some time to work off.

So wouldn't it be better to abstain? Why listen to how amazing you are in their eyes, riding the momentum of everything wonderful you shared together, only to have it shattered moments later? Sure, it's a temporary treat but you pay the price once the consequences hit.

However, death cookies also offer closure. They're that last pint of Ben and Jerry's that holds your hand through the heartbreak of another failed relationship. They validate your worth and hand you the final piece to be able to walk away.

I think it's worth those emotional calories you'll have to work off later for a final, bitter-sweet goodbye.