Missing out . . .

To whom it may concern: 

I am sorry. 

I try to live my life without regrets but since when has that ever worked for anyone? 

I try to protect myself and make sure my decisions are where I want to be going. 

I try to understand people and why they are who they are and why they make the choices they do.

I try to be a better person because quite honestly-- sometimes I don't even like myself and how am I supposed to believe someone can love me when I don't always believe it possible?

I try for things to be right-- whether that right is best for someone else or for me. 

I try to trust people 100% because I know that once I reach that point there is found a relationship that lasts forever. 

I try to be honest with myself since excuses and lies are only a waste of time. 

The point is.... I try. 

But then there are times, like these, that I realize I'm so focused on trying to do so many things that I forget what exactly is the entire reason for trying. 

And what the answer to that reason is comes down to one thing: relationships.

Or sometimes more importantly, relationship. 

Sometimes I spend so much time waiting around for answers to things that I already know...

for people to do things that don't need to be done because if they were going to-- it would have already happened...

for words to be said that have simply become a matter of "you first"....

And on days like these, I must simply look at what is laid before me and make a decision

Which you know I hate to do

But decisions seem to be necessary

Because like the picture with the typo in it says--

Someday I'm going to wish I had let them catch me. 

And also, someday I'm going to wish I hadn't waited so long to catch them. 

Who is "them"? Well, you decide. Or don't. I really couldn't care less. 

But "them" is important in my life. Even if that sentence did sound terribly grammatically incorrect. 

Oh gosh. .. . . that last one sounds a little sketchy too. 

Point being-- you're in my life for a reason. . . 

Others are no longer in my life because I was too slow and too self-consumed to make a decision. 

But right now, I am deciding. 

Deciding to keep you.

Plus, this whole lukewarm, half-in half-out, hit the snooze button three times thing ain't working for me

So let's change that. 

The End.