Be Assertive. Be BE ASSERTIVE!

Right now I'm part of a Sunday School class focused on relationships. Any of you who have read this blog before know how ridiculously interested I am in relationships. Our teacher is Annie. I am absolutely fascinated by that girl- her personality, her words, and also, how very assertive she is.

We were reminded of the need to be assertive.

Assertive: set boundaries & be direct

Up until today I considered myself a fairly assertive person.

Its not something I've always been-- I'm the quiet one reading a book in the corner, only listening

I'm not sure when that changed but it seems that one day all the silence I'd forced myself to maintain and all that I held back over the years broke loose and hasn't been captured since.

Until today I considered myself an assertive person because I tell people "no." No, I don't want to do that. . . No, I don't agree with what you're saying... No, I won't accept your choice as a finalized decision...

Except, those things are barely true, and only on occasion.

Annie said that we are assertive towards people we really care about. We are assertive because we love them. We are assertive because we want to make things the best that we can.

I can name a couple of those people in my life which I have been assertive towards.

But the rest? Not at all.

I almost always let people walk all over me. It comes down to fear. I am afraid of them.

I am afraid that if I stand up for myself and am direct and set boundaries that they will react in a way that I am terrified of-- whether that means anger or simply not caring at all. 

So what do I do instead? I simply shut down and take it. I let them tell me who I am and who I should be and how I should see things and how the decisions I've made in my life are wrong.

Occasionally I will eventually return to the situation and share my thoughts but even that is intimidating. So very intimidating which demonstrates a lack of self-confidence.

Which means... I am not very assertive at all.

So... here's to being more assertive. To knowing what you have to say matters. To being your own individual. To caring enough about someone to set a boundary or tell them "no," no matter how much it may hurt or scare you.

Be assertive... Be. Be.. ASSERTIVE.