Epilogue

Four months in a foreign country will change your life. You'll be different after living in China. You'll learn things about life and yourself that you didn't even realize existed to be learned. These are all phrases I've heard in the past six months. Are they true? Of course.

But... the real question is, how are they true?

How do experiences like this change your life? What do you learn about yourself?

I can list an entire page of things that I've learned: how to slurp noodles with chopsticks, the best way to hold the attention of 37 4^th graders for 45 minutes at a time, China's priceless vacation spots...

I can tell you that my life changed in many ways- financially, socially, intellectually...

But... those are all worthless answers.

Here's what really happened:

4 months ago I showed up at a school in China with the words, “What the hell did I do?” on my lips. I had a panic attack the first time a couple hundred Chinese children flooded the cafeteria for a meal. I had accepted by the end of a couple weeks of teaching that my kids just weren't going to learn anything from me by the end of the semester.

4 months later I spent every free minute I could with my Chinese children. I could bust out a lesson plan in 10 minutes and have it work successfully for the entire class period. I had conversations with most of my kids in English and actually wanted to do so.

At what point during those 4 months did things change? When did I submit myself to China and when did my kids start speaking English? I have no idea.

A lot can happen in 4 months and it did. I became a resident in China rather than a passing tourist. I learned how to teach and even enjoy my job on occasion. I discovered what it feels like to have your heart broken in many new ways I'd never experienced before. I also discovered how to love, fall in love, and then act on that love. More than anything else, I learned that I already knew exactly who I was and that I can stop searching for someone else because the person I already am is everything I've ever wanted.

The happily ever after the world constantly seeks for isn't found in a trip, money, or a partner. We spend so much time seeking for an answer to our happiness and are so consumed by our quest that we fail to realize that we already hold the key.

Happiness, our happily ever afters, is within ourselves.

That's what I learned in China and it's true, my life has been changed.