Letting it Burn

The last couple days of my life have been really frustrating. 

I started a job that isn't what I thought it would be and most definitely isn't the 'big girl' career I want.

I got out of my first day of work to discover my 'new' car's battery completely dead and since it is a Prius, the 30+ computer systems I need to make it run were also unavailable, making it impossible to even shift into neutral.

Today was a stressful day at the job mixing various chemicals to make explosives while making sure my 18 kids didn't get hurt in the process.

I also found out the 2nd battery on my car needs replaced, coming in at $350 (+tax), which is not covered by my $1250 warranty.

I watched the guy I thought I was going to marry walk into a reception tonight with his fiancé and listened as they told their proposal story.

And to top it off, my favorite purse came un-sewed.

It has been a rough year.

Between the slaughter of boys that I've stumbled my way through and my attempts at growing up with a job and car, I've gotten a lot of sleep because I was too tired to deal with it all anymore.

Tonight my roommate and I wrote down all of these events on lanterns and set them off in the sky. 

Forever.

I'm sure I'll make my way through several more boys instead of men.

I'm sure I'll have several more employers turn me down, let alone talk to me at all.

I'm sure I'll take several more trips to the Toyota dealership to put more money into car 'maintenance.'

BUT.. I'll never have to deal with the same events from 2013 ever again.

And a new onslaught of bombs just doesn't seem as bad.

Here's what I learned from all of those things listed on the lantern:

-I have the choice every moment of my life how I want to react.

-I always have someone who has my back and knows exactly what to say.

-I want nothing to do with boys and am finally looking for the right man.

-It is my responsibility to make my job(s) what I want them to be.

-My car will break no matter what and money is just money.

-If I want to get in shape and lose weight, a Chinese-style life will do the trick.

Also--

I've also gotten pretty good at making Funky Monkey smoothies at home which is kinda a big deal.

Even though I let go of everything written on that lantern, I still have all the good it brought me.

I'm armed and ready for 2014. It's gonna be a lucky year.