The Best is Yet to Be

Two things I want to share: 

First: A Facebook status--

"The first time you fall in love, you fall in love with the person. Every time subsequently, you fall in love with falling in love."

And a comment-- 

"I don't think that's true at all. I just think that it takes a long time before you meet anyone you could love anywhere near as much as your first love."

But fortunately I do not wish to discuss first loves. Why? Because of the second part of this post.

I read a wonderful article by Elder Holland the other day that I have read previously but this time a different part jumped out to me. The part about The Best is Yet to Be. Please, read: 


"The story, of course, comes to us out of the days of Sodom and Gomorrah, when the Lord, having had as much as He could stand of the worst that men and women could do, told Lot and his family to flee because those cities were about to be destroyed. “Escape for thy life,” the Lord said. “Look not behind thee … ; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed”

"With less than immediate obedience and more than a little negotiation, Lot and his family ultimately did leave town but just in the nick of time. The scriptures tell us what happened at daybreak the morning following their escape:

"“The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven;

"“And he overthrew those cities” 

"My theme comes in the next verse. Surely, with the Lord’s counsel—“look not behind thee”—ringing clearly in her ears, Lot’s wife, the record says, “looked back,” and she was turned into a pillar of salt

"Just what did Lot’s wife do that was so wrong? As a student of history, I have thought about that and offer a partial answer. Apparently, what was wrong with Lot’s wife was that she wasn’t just looking back; in her heart she wanted to go back. It would appear that even before she was past the city limits, she was already missing what Sodom and Gomorrah had offered her.
...
"As a new year begins and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives.

So a more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind.

"To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now, to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future, and to miss the here and now and tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there and then and yesterday are some of the sins of Lot’s wife."

So now, I just keep telling myself-- The Best is Yet to Be

And you know what? I believe that.

What's in a fairy tale

Everyone wants a fairy tale whether they believe that they exist or not. 

But although we dream. . . . we must dream in reality. 

So what's a fairy tale? What are the phases and what can be expected?

Let's turn to the experts-- the movies. Because they're always correct, right? 

Enchanted-- both a movie and what we want our life to be. Giselle daydreams of her true love marrying her. Let's be realistic-- we've all done this although the dress probably wasn't included. Is it a bad thing? No. If you do not dream and expect the best then you will never find anything like it.

Prince Charming-- thankfully the modern world has treated men more kindly without massive sleeves and bad hair cuts. We all have an idea in mind of what kind of person we want to be with forever. Whether that is a tall, dark, and handsome tall man with a perfect smile and a six pack oh and also the perfect personality with charming manners and witty thoughts. . . . or something quite different. . . there is a profile you have sketched out lightly for that special someone

We all look for magical moments. "The look" where something just connects.  . .

The amazing discussion that made you say "wow" afterwards. 

You see, it's the small simple things that create a fairy tale because when it comes down to it, that's what matters. A constant and consistent flow of little wonderful things.

Not every guy will be "perfect." Actually-- if you ever find one that gets close please let me know. . . The world is full of Alberts. Wonderful Alberts who will go the 90% and fill in your dull life with those hilarious amazing little things.

We've all seen this look before. Someone's completely smitten and the other is thinking "what???????" 

But in the end it was a perfect match

We've also seen this look. The "well shoot I love you but there are irrelevant problems in our way of being together" look. 

So a fairy tale? It's that happily ever after with Alberts who will be crazy about you and not turn into Snow White's prince charming 5 years down the road. 

. . . 

http://www.relentlessenergy.com/posts/view/happily-ever-after#read-more

Because really, who wants this? And it happens. It really does. 

There's got to be a 7 on your pH scale

I feel like this blog is becoming super whiny and negative but no worries, life will recycle back to the more humorous positive sarcasm.

My topic today I am basing off a combination of Jekyll and Hyde along with the pH scale

How are these in any way connected you may wonder? Well really, like most of my ideas, it's quite obvious.

On the pH scale you range from 0-14, lower numbers being acidic and higher numbers being basic while the normal point of equality rides right at 7.

Jekyll and Hyde create the same situation without the neutrality in the middle. Dr. Jekyll ranges in the higher numbers-- he's mature, educated, calm. Then there is Mr. Hyde who resides in the lower numbers-- he lashes out and wreaks havoc and confusion.

But they're the same body. I would not say the same person since I see the term "person" as having an individual identity which obvious, they have two. 

What is the point to this spiel on chemistry and a classic novel? 

The point is that I am ranting on personalities again. Who people are and what they do.

Now there are two different situations I want to bring up that are exemplified by Jekyll and Hyde--

1) A literal change in personality: being one kind of person and then changing your life so you're practically unknown to your previous friends and relationships

2) A difference in who you say you are and what you do: sure you're a perfect charmer in words but your actions don't come close to reaching that point.

So let's start with #1: 

People change. It can be a good thing or a bad thing. Some people can be in a bad point in their life and then one day-- something clicks. Maybe they met someone and there was that instant connection. Maybe they found a new purpose or idea that they became interested in and pursued it. Maybe they just got tired of dealing with crap and they walked away. Who knows-- it's different for every person. But now, they are a different person. A change in personality to the point that old associates would hardly recognize who they have now become. 

So they build a new life. . . new friends. . . new personality.

Then one day it all changes again. Some event occurs and it causes them to return to their previous lifestyle and personality or maybe even an entirely new stage. And now, their most recent friends and relationships don't recognize them anymore. 

Each time this change in personality occurs, a part of your life is lost-- and most importantly, those people in your life are lost. Hey maybe it really isn't the most important part to some but for others it is.

I almost see it as death-- like that person I knew and loved is lost somewhere inside but I can't find them anymore.

Just like Jekyll and Hyde-- both personalities were from the same body but when one personality was active, the other was suppressed into an unknown world of death.

#2: 

There are people who are simply fantabulous at dreaming up ideas and things they want to be and want to have and want to do with their lives. There are those people and then there are the people who actually achieve those things. It's so hard to accept when you realize that you've fallen for charming words with no strength behind them. That the person you are terribly in love with doesn't actually exist. That they're only an imagined ideal. Again, it's the idea of two different personalities in the same person. There is the person they really are-- the dreamer. Then there is the person they want to and claim to be-- the achiever. But they cannot exist as one unless they are altered to a 7 pH level.

To all the Jekyll and Hydes-- sometimes it's nice to find a seven.

A lucky number 7. 

IF vs. WHEN

My TA said yesterday, "in this world there are lumpers and separators" (referring to how you choose to include geologic events on a geologic map)

Well, in this world, there are also IF people and WHEN people. 

Myself, I am a WHEN person. 

It is not a matter of IF something will happen in my life. It is a matter of WHEN. The way I see things-- ...If there is somewhere I want to go, then I go.

...If there is someone I want to see, then I go see them. 

...If there is something I want to do in my life-- I simply go do it. 

No IFs. 

Understanding this concept is really quite simple-- 

If you want something enough, if it really matters to you, it will come first in your life. 

You will make it happen.

I do realize that this requires time and money and responsibility but really, if it matters then you will figure out a way. 

I am constantly perturbed by those people who do not do what they want. 

If you have something to say-- then say it. 

If you want to be a different person-- then change.

If you like someone-- then ask them out.

You can't just keep throwing out IFs in your life and somehow expect that it will be enough and that things will change. 

A month or so ago I figured out one of the most important things in my life

I realized that being a WHEN person is one of the most important things I look for in people. 

I finally realized why I like certain people so much.

It is because they ACT instead of just talking about doing so. 

They are real and not just an illusion of the person you wish they would be

They say what they want, they do what they want, and they are entirely genuine

And I love that. 

Pictures to prove I'm still doing something with my life

And no, I don't mean to prove to you that I'm doing something with my life. 

These pictures are for me to remember that something actually did happen in the past few weeks.

Stephannie and I finally went and got sushi from RA. The location on Mill by ASU is much nicer and less empty during the day time hours than Dana Park's music pumping club location

 SO to put this awkwardly... I was a sushi virgin. 

But no longer am

And... it was delicious. Except for the spicy tuna but it's not like that was bad. 

For FHE one night Stephannie, Tabitha, and I carved pumpkins.  I stole one they had there and carved a creeper into it. It's almost even better when it molds, don't you think?

 Now..... back to my house! Imagine that . . . . . not like I actually do hardly anything else with myself. 

I painted the top half of my bathroom gray and we moved that sick toilet that I previously cleaned months ago that is not so sparkling white still. Apparently the last people to paint did not move it. Or the paint job before that. Or the one before that. I think I counted 4. 

But the whole outline-on-the-wall-thing? It's totally normal at this house. Thankfully not so much anymore.

I later painted the bottom half of the walls "Altar of Roses" or as I call it, magenta. (Although I am terribly saddened that I think of stupid Blues Clues every time I say that)

I'm looking for a good wallpaper border to put along the edge. Kinda thinking about a black and white retro look but as far as I have looked, nothing like that has shown up. 

 We got the huge shelf in my family room put up! It looks so amazingly nice that I can't believe some of the things I envisioned for this house are actually turning out how I was hoping they would. 

Then a couple days later a table appeared

And last night 2 of my couches! So I am now sleeping on my lovely gray couch because I love love love love it and it pretty much turns into a bed if you throw off a couple cushions.

 The laundry room was a main priority for last week since Kendra's been whining about getting her laundry done. 

So we (meaning my grandpa and not me) finished staining the cabinets and Brother Cluff helped move the washer and dryer in and I installed them both with Brother Nelson finishing up on the dryer by hooking the vent up.

 I even got to paint the baseboards blue and one of the light switches blue so I finally have my orange and blue room that I've dreamed of for years. And I don't even care how tacky that is.

 I got dishes moved in and I realized that I have A LOT. It was one of those things where I found a set I really liked. But there weren't enough. So we bought the blue ones to go with them. But then we found more that matched exactly. And then there were those old ones from way before.

So all in all, quite a few plates and bowls. But I promise some day I will set the table up all fancy and it will look absolutely amazing.

 I also moved my magnets over to my house. A favorite Norman Rockwell painting and Harry Potter and also a few magnet framed photos.

 I moved some of my favorite books over too. And less favorites since my textbooks are here now too. I separated my Harry Potter books and my Twilight books since I decided it was not fair to force them together any longer. I really think they just need different shelves too.

 I painted my game closet and my mom finished it up and put on some shelf paper so I unpacked a few games I had bought that we already boxed. 

And then one night I went and cleaned out my game closet at home of puzzles and games and wow I have enough games and puzzles to last months. I definitely am planning game nights though. I've always wanted a big closet full of games like this and it's turning out perfect.

 My living room is still a mess. It has become the junk room full of not actually junk but more of the work room I guess. As soon as I am done with my room and the hall bathroom and doors I will get started on the living room. It's actually the room I wanted done first originally but not it will be last and I am itching to get started. 

 I made my first meal the other day. Mac and Cheese. Now really-- this is an accomplishment. I think I've only made it 2 other times in my life and other than it being rather bland, it wasn't too bad. I'm just sad that I already shattered the lid for my weird pot. 

Speaking of things shattering, I had my shower door shatter in my hands today. Right after it was cleaned I was carrying it back into the house and it randomly exploded. It's an interesting thing holding a huge sheet of glass and then all of a sudden everything is flying and your hands are suddenly empty. 

But news flash-- it was safety glass so I survived with only a few small cuts on my arms and a lot of frustration. 

My food pantry is filling up. Unfortunately, only one of those shelves is mine so I spend a lot of time staring at the contents that I'm less than eager to eat and scrounge food elsewhere.

 I've been sleeping on the floor in the last empty bedroom for the past week but someone was supposed to come look at it today (which she didn't. Big surprise there) so I cleaned it all up and like I said previously, have moved to the couch which unfortunately was a very loud location last night at midnight when I was trying to sleep and Kendra came home and started up laundry 10 feet away from my head and spent an hour messing around in the kitchen.

 Jacque moved in. I like her. I think. I've only actually seen her a few times but apparently she doesn't stay here right now because the house isn't finished. That's according to Kendra. I don't think it's a big deal to have a door knob and bathroom tile to keep you from staying here but whatev. . . she paid rent so I don't really care.

 Albert put in a new garage door (that still needs painted) since the last one was missing quite a bit of it's bottom half. It's kinda nice to have a normal nice looking door. Even if there is only one and it's in the garage when I rarely see it.

 Here's the garage light switch. I just can't bear to wash it because it is the last bit of what this house was. It expressed what I have spent months ripping off the floor and scrubbing off the walls and cleaning cleaning cleaning. . . . 

I finally have got some work done in my room. I painted  one wall light blue about a week ago

 And the green edges all got finished and my cabinets are all freshly varnished and put back together. The medicine cabinet is cleaned out. The mirror has been mostly washed. The counter has been scrubbed. The light fixture has been replaced. And now after the tile is done, I can actually move stuff in!

 I also sucked it up the other day and paid full price for a gallon of paint. I have been wanting this color very much and it turned out perfect. It is called Teal Zeal and my room colors are now complete. 

 In fact, they match my new cheap bed set perfectly. Plus they are just happy happy colors that make me smile inside.

 Today we got a lot of little things done. Like the crap cleaned out of my closet door track that looked like the contents of a very nasty sink drain

 And my grandpa painted my closet white for me so now it is brilliant looking and as wonderful as ever 

 Also, Brother Cluff came over and taught me how to lay ceramic tile so we got the main rows laid out and I just need to cut the edge pieces and finish it up. Then wait a day and grout it. Then wait another day or two and it will be done! And then I can start on the hall bath haha but that is much smaller and less immense of an ordeal. 

But yes, this is my life. Apparently I am still living and somehow making progress even though it often seems as though I get nothing done. 

And bonus-- I haven't failed college yet. 

YET. 

Missing out . . .

To whom it may concern: 

I am sorry. 

I try to live my life without regrets but since when has that ever worked for anyone? 

I try to protect myself and make sure my decisions are where I want to be going. 

I try to understand people and why they are who they are and why they make the choices they do.

I try to be a better person because quite honestly-- sometimes I don't even like myself and how am I supposed to believe someone can love me when I don't always believe it possible?

I try for things to be right-- whether that right is best for someone else or for me. 

I try to trust people 100% because I know that once I reach that point there is found a relationship that lasts forever. 

I try to be honest with myself since excuses and lies are only a waste of time. 

The point is.... I try. 

But then there are times, like these, that I realize I'm so focused on trying to do so many things that I forget what exactly is the entire reason for trying. 

And what the answer to that reason is comes down to one thing: relationships.

Or sometimes more importantly, relationship. 

Sometimes I spend so much time waiting around for answers to things that I already know...

for people to do things that don't need to be done because if they were going to-- it would have already happened...

for words to be said that have simply become a matter of "you first"....

And on days like these, I must simply look at what is laid before me and make a decision

Which you know I hate to do

But decisions seem to be necessary

Because like the picture with the typo in it says--

Someday I'm going to wish I had let them catch me. 

And also, someday I'm going to wish I hadn't waited so long to catch them. 

Who is "them"? Well, you decide. Or don't. I really couldn't care less. 

But "them" is important in my life. Even if that sentence did sound terribly grammatically incorrect. 

Oh gosh. .. . . that last one sounds a little sketchy too. 

Point being-- you're in my life for a reason. . . 

Others are no longer in my life because I was too slow and too self-consumed to make a decision. 

But right now, I am deciding. 

Deciding to keep you.

Plus, this whole lukewarm, half-in half-out, hit the snooze button three times thing ain't working for me

So let's change that. 

The End. 

Pregnacy

I'm sure I'm not the only one but can I just say that every once in a while I am terrified of being pregnant. And on this morning after I went home from work vomiting last night and then slept all night I find this a completely appropriate time to share. It's the stupidest thing too because every so often I get these insane ideas that perhaps I could be pregnant now which is off the wall insanity since biologically that is entirely impossible. Fortunately I understand that and am not like that idiot Finn from Glee who is gullible enough to believe you can impregnate someone by going hot tubing. Although I must admit I was definitely laughing through the scene when he told the girl's parents they'd never even had sex. But really- - - I am terrified of it all. The morning sickness. The increased hormones. The weight gain. The pain. And a quite large series of things that I don't even want to make anyone read here on my blog. But hey-- how many people have survived it before? And then proceeded to have 20 more kids. . . 

There are just so many mixed opinions too-- about things like birth control. How the LDS church is basically not in favor of it but it's left up to a couple to decide. How some people say it's a crime because it goes against nature and yet Margaret Sanger who started birth control doesn't even blink an eye when that accusation is brought to her. 

It's just all. . . . interesting to say the least. And terrifying.