An ideal kind of love: LDS family vs. Top of the Mormon Chain

This is going to be another one of those more serious posts so I would like to preface the real meat with a little bit of ketchup :) 

I'd first like to say that for a pretty decent percentage of you reading, you're mentioned, if not obsessed over in this blog. My stories are real. If you have an inclination that you may be the same person as Jacob Black or my COW or a serial killer or any of the other ridiculous theoretical characters in my blogs-- you're probably right. I like to keep it on an obvious down-low in order that you may either choose to ignore that fact that my sappy, honest, from-the-heart posts are about my love (or hatred) for you OR choose to accept the blatant love or cursings. But at least that way you have a choice and I come off as slightly less of a creeper. (although not entirely ;)

So onto the topic I've been brooding about these last few days. [Quick insert -> I kinda despise the term "brooding." It makes me think about PMSing chickens giving birth to an egg although I realize that is not entirely correct] 

LDS family vs. top of the Mormon chain

What does that even mean? Well, let me explain. 

In my church we are what we call "sealed" to our families. This is often done through a sealing/marriage in the temple but can also be done at other times too. The point of being sealed is that you are sealed (obviously) to your family forever. That means that when you die, you'll still be with your family in heaven. You never lose them. 

What does this have to do with anything?

Well, I am not sealed to anyone. I did not grow up in the ideal, happy-go-lucky family. I'm used to divorce. I'm used to anger. I'm used to fighting. And by "used" I mean commonly affiliated with, not okay with or normalized to. 

Due to that part of my life, I decided a long time ago that I wanted.. no, not wanted... AM going to have a family that is forever. 

I wanted to marry a perfect little mormon boy who had the perfect little mormon family in which everyone is happy and loves each other and always smiles. 

Yeah, this kind of family. 

You get the idea.. you've all experienced this family lifestyle or seen it at one point in time in your life. 

However, the more I grow up and the more I meet new people and learn about their stories, the more I realize that the world does not necessarily work that way. I'm not saying those families don't still exist... I'm just saying that sadly, they are the extreme exception.

The people that have for the most part educated my mind in this topic are actually here at EFY. Several of my session directors are what I'm going to call first generation LDS families. They are the only ones (or close to the only ones) in their families who are members of the church. They come from homes that are not necessarily bad, but different than what I had always imagined. 

One of the guys here made a comment along the lines of, "why would any girl want to marry me with the kind of family I have?" My first reaction was that he was being entirely ridiculous. Who wouldN'T want to marry him? He has a crazy family- even crazier than mine. It took me a minute to think about his reasoning behind saying that.. and I realized I've thought the same thing. I'm not saying I don't still have a great family. It's just that I don't have that ideal family that most people seek out. 

And after further thinking.. I realized I really didn't mind the idea of marrying into a crazy family. I honestly think that maybe that's even what I'm supposed to do. Let me walk you through my main reasoning for this conclusion-- first off, I have some experience with crazy families. I've had practice and learned how to handle a variety of situations. Second, I seem to understand people differently than the general population. I can look at a situation and analyze it before I start freaking out that it is something I am unfamiliar with or uncomfortable with. It is easy for me to love people for their differences. I'm not saying I am unbiased and free from judging and criticism... I'm not. I know that. I'm just saying that maybe it is a little easier for me to not do so. I can understand that everyone is a child of God- whether they are the prophet of the church or the drugged out homeless woman in the park. They're still people. They still have experiences and feelings and dreams. 

I'm not saying I will be a first generation LDS family.. I'm just saying that I'm entirely okay with that. Maybe even prefer it even if it could turn out to be a more difficult situation.

But what is life without challenges?

Nothing. 

Lifeless. 

‎"We are all a little weird and life's a little 

weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." ~ Dr. Seuss