Style of Friendship

I've always known that people have casual friends, good friends, and best friends. Some people have lots of good friends and some people have a select few best friends but whatevs that's just how it works. 

Tonight I realized that it goes SO much deeper. 

Whether or not people have lots of good friends or just a few select best friends is a very big part of someone's personality. Your friend selection is not just a happenstance. You unconsciously create your friendships to be like yourself. 

Using myself as an example- I am a best friend. When people come into my life they are either casual friends or become my best friends. Good friends are rare. Why? Because when I let myself care about someone and trust them I become entirely committed to a relationship. I want to be part of their life and would do anything and everything for them. Casual friends don't require trust or care. They are people you can have conversations with and occasionally spend time with but there is no commitment involved. A good friend sits half way in between these two. While they are people you spend some personal time with, this friendship is missing complete trust and commitment-- not that anything is wrong with that. It's just that for me personally, my friendships rarely hit that point. I am very much an all or nothing person, just as my friendships are typically all or nothing. 

Other people are more prone to have good friends. They get along well with several people and spend time involving themselves in many different people's lives. They still have casual friends (since it's impossible to be good friends with everyone) but best friends are less common. I can't tell you why this is. I don't know if it is because they get restless with a small pool of friends and enjoy the variety. I don't know if it is because they are still looking for something more from a friendship so they haven't felt the need to commit to a few entirely rather than many partially. I'm really not sure and let's be realistic- how awkward would it be for me, as a best friend person with my friends being best friend people, to approach a good friend person and ask them why their personality is the way it is. 

I have decided though, like everything in life, there is always room for learning and improvement. I can learn how to have good friends while good friends can learn to have best friends. It is not something that will necessarily come naturally (although who knows, it might it we're willing to give it a try) but it is something that is entirely possible. 

At least I hope so.