Dreams vs. Nightmares

My favorite word is DREAM. 

I like the way it looks. I like the way it sounds. I like the meaning it embodies.

Dream:

a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep

a state of mind in which someone is or seems to be unaware of their immediate surroundings

a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal

an unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy

a person or thing perceived as wonderful or perfect

I took the liberty of bold(ing?) the words in the definitions I felt were key.

The way I see my dreams-- they are a part of my subconscious, during sleep, that pieces together what makes me the most happy-- to the point where it becomes an unrealistic fantasy. 

Notice that I did not say "create." Ever notice that often we dream about people we already know, places we've already been, things we've already done?

Notice how the perfect person you're about to kiss right before you wake up is faceless?

I'm not saying it's impossible for our mind to create something entirely new-- I'm just saying it is more likely that our dreams are pieces of the things we enjoy most, compiled into a fairy tale.

So then, what is a nightmare?

Nightmare:

a frightening or unpleasant dream

a terrifying or very unpleasant experience or prospect

a person, thing, or situation that is very difficult to deal with

A nightmare is the negative of a dream. It still has the same characteristics but rather than embodying our joy it dwells on our greatest fears and worries and stresses that we have experienced in life, of which we don't know how to solve.

I'm still trying to decide if I'm a fan of dreams and nightmares. I love to sleep-- for me it is an escape. A break from when I feel absolutely overwhelmed. If I'm sick or frustrated over homework, my first solution is sleep. It usually works-- I wake feeling better and ready to get back to work.

But.. in the past couple years of my life, I've found sleeping to be an even more intense collision with reality. Like I said-- dreams and nightmares take the best and worst and then amplify it. 

Last night was a perfect example for me-- my dream was a mixture of a good friend and her family, ballroom dancing, falling in love, rain, and feeling completely free.

I can see it as a mockery of my life or a hope of what can be.

My nightmare was the exact opposite-- I was alone and shut out by someone I love deeply. The best twist was an overlaid voice and line from my past that has haunted me for a long time, replacing my present. 

My nightmare took my present day fear and incorporated an old memory.

So do I let that shut down my life or do I accept it as only a nightmare?

The conclusion I've reached so far is that even though my sleep mocks my life, I'm grateful for the complete and brutal honesty my sleeping subconscious provides-- even when my conscious locks it out.