Miscommunication

I'm discovering that one of my greatest frustrations in life is miscommunication. 

I keep being confronted with different forms of miscommunication which forces me to devise another way that I can better avoid said problem.

It's like the game telephone. For those of you who have not played this, a group of people line up and whisper the same phrase down the line. Often.. the phrase you begin with and finish with have quite a few differences. As much as we laugh at the game and have a good time with it, it's a very good model of the transfer of information in the world.

Let me just start listing off some of these situations I have come across in the past week:

I was talking to a friend about my beliefs towards the importance of marriage along with a few other things and I would explain a concept one way and get a response that was completely off my point. It's not that I'm that bad at explaining my thoughts or that he is bad at comprehending, it's simply that there will always be some percentage of information that will get lost as it is transferred from one person to another. Perfect understanding is something that we strive for but never will you be able to understand exactly or receive all of what is on another person's mind. 

I'm going to lump this next series of events into one and call it opposite-gender miscommunication. 

Starting off with a story from last night: 

A guy asked what girls interpreted a first kiss to mean in the beginning of a relationship. Well, depending on the girl and the situation, it can be interpreted many different ways. A point made (by a girl) though is that if you kiss a girl too soon, it's going to be interpreted as lust rather than love. He didn't even consider that to be one of the interpretations, only thinking that a kiss would signify an emotion of caring/attraction. How easily miscommunication occurs in something as simple as a kiss.

Almost always when two members of the opposite sex spend time together, there will always be the lingering question of friendship vs. relationship. Verbally defining that line tends to be uncomfortable and is usually left to subtle hinting. I've found it is very easy to miscommunicate through body language, words, invitations, and actions what the other person is seeking for and expecting. A friend of mine uses the term "indicators of interest" or IOI's when referring to the subtle things one does or says when communicating. Even without the subtle signals, it is easy for one party to interpret the situation in the form they please. Because we have forced our interpretations of relationships to rely on subtle indicators, it is relatively easy to interpret an accepted/declined invitation or physical touch the wrong way.

I'm getting bored of listing events of miscommunication so I'll get to my point and end.

Miscommunication is always going to occur. It's in my life and your life for good.

But steps can be taken to avoid it--

For me, I am better at projecting my thoughts and information if I have taken time to think through them first and establish exactly what I believe and want. Often using writing rather than words as a mediator in communication works better for me and it's a form that I've found myself using more frequently, especially when it is a matter of importance to me.

As for receiving information from others, I personally have found better success when I stash away my other thoughts and focus on listening and really making an attempt to hear and understand what the other person is saying. It helps to incorporate what you know about their lifestyle and past as support for more fully grasping where their thoughts are coming from.

Just a thought.