How Do I Love Thee?

Let me count the ways.


I'm not really talking about an always-on-my-mind, instantly-spot-them-in-a-crowd, can't-stop-smiling kind of love.

Love-- a genuine love. A pure love. An unconquerable love.

Love for friends. Love for family. Love for companions.

I've spent a great deal of time the past couple weeks pondering on the idea of expressed love.
It started with comparing.
I took two people in my life and was easily able to label (lol that rhymes) which one I loved and which one I liked, but did not love.

But then came the question-- How do I love thee? In what ways am I different towards those I love?
What are the indicators that I love someone?

I stumbled upon this video clip and have found it to be a perfect lead into my thoughts:

Here are a few of the ways I have come to realize I truly love and care about someone:
(in no particular order)

1. Kindness- I'm a jerk.. I'm not entirely sure when this started because I used to be a real sweetie pie but I've noticed an increased occurrence of cruel comments coming out of my mouth. My best guess is that sarcasm is my answer for displaying a hatred I've been harboring. However, when I am around those I truly love, that hatred is gone. It's a combination of the idea of hurting someone I care about as absolutely appalling along with a happiness replacing former hatred within myself.
I am genuinely kind to those I love.

2. Patience- I'm getting better at it, but I am not notorious for being patient. I'm used to getting my way and am arrogant enough to believe that I have the power to manipulate situations to turn out how I want. I've discovered that for those I love, I am entirely willing to wait. This patience takes a certain power out of my own hands and entrusts it in the love I have for someone.

3. Selflessness- How often are is our focus on me me me? Our society actively teaches this principle. There's a point you reach in a relationship with anyone in which suddenly, your world doesn't revolve around yourself anymore but rather prioritizes by filling another's needs first. This sign of love occurred to me the other day when I had plans that were really important to me which I was suddenly ready to walk away from to spend time with a friend instead.

4. Respect- for another's body, their choices. their opinions... Complete respect-- not just a standardized acceptance or indifference. Respect shows that you value someone or something. If I respect you I hold you in high esteem and take you seriously. I love you enough to not make a mockery out of you.

5. Gratitude- I've found an intense gratitude for the ones I love. The love I have for them has allowed me to accept expressions of love from them whether it is time or a compliment or etc... I can't even express how grateful I am to have them in my life and for all that they have done for me. They're the ones who I thank God every day for placing in my life.

6. Questions- Oh how I love this form of love! I love the people I ask questions-- it shows that I want to not only have a general idea of who you are but also understand your personal motivations and interests. Most people enjoy sharing information about themselves and I love finding someone who I am eager to listen to for hours on end. Accept it-- the people you have to force yourself to ask questions are not the ones you love.

7. Absence- when there exists a literal pain at the idea of someone not being in your life. Someone who if they left your life you would become a 'whirling dervish of reckless abandonment'. Those are the people you love so deeply you'll never let go. They have found a deep and irreplaceable location in your soul and mean everything to you.

8. Fault Test- I'm discovering this idea is more common than I thought. A fault test is performed naturally without any conscious thought. For those you love, you love all of them. While you may not appreciate every last thing they do, those things are insignificant and don't cause you too much stress. For those you don't love nearly as much, you quickly come up with the most ridiculous list of reasons you are irrationally irritated by someone. Whether this sources from something more serious like a blatant disregard for acting mature or something entirely pointless like the kind of shoes they wear, it is a barricade in your relationship that will take time and work if it is to be conquered.

9. Inspire- We find love with the people who silently inspire us to be everything we've ever wanted to be. When I am around the people I love I find motivation to set goals and be the person I've always dreamed I was possible. It's more than wanting to please them-- around those we love we find a pure, beautiful joy that makes us see the best in ourselves and others.

The ultimate goal is to reach a perfected love--
a Christlike love
an unconditional love

It's not easy..
Luckily we have so many people around us that we love who we can learn to reach that point with.
Whether it is something that you can discover automatically with a person
or
if it is something that you must always work to acquire..

I'm not really sure.

We love-- in so many ways.

We love naturally and we love as a decision.

How do YOU love?
Please comment below :)