A Woman of Strength

One of our lessons in church today was on the topic of being in control of your life and focusing on being the person you want to be instead of worrying that others are not being/choosing the way you would have them be/choose. 

As Annie put it- (paraphrased quote) "There is this guy that I really like who unfortunately doesn't return those emotions. I can't make him like me. I only have control of myself so I am working on myself and becoming who I want to be. If some day he changes his mind then great! I'll be more prepared to be with him. If he never changes his mind, well.. then that just sucks." 

Most people have a list of some sorts- whether mentally or actually written down- of what they are looking for in a spouse. I've heard a lot of controversy on doing that. Personally, I have some things written down on a list. I don't have every little thing written down, nor do I expect to find someone who fits every little thing I would love to have in a husband. I think it is important to have a strong sense of the person you are looking for but to still be open to new traits. 

I know a few people who say they want to marry a stake president/ S.P.'s wife. Or bishop or mission president etc.... And then there are those who scoff at that goal and say that one needs to not be so picky/expecting-- that they just want to find someone that they love and makes them happy and they will make them happy in return. 

I see points for both sides but I will always have the mind set of the first due to something my mom told me at a young age. She told me to think of the men in our ward who were the kind of men I wanted to marry some day. And then... she told me to look at their wives. THAT is what I need to become to marry the kind of man I want. If I want to marry a future stake president, I need to be a stake president's wife. I find power in using that standard as a goal. Rather than just looking to love and make someone happy there are exact things that I can strive for. I may not ever be a stake president's wife. I may be just a wife. And that's okay. It is not a demeaning position. 

We cannot create a stake president/ S.P. wife UNLESS we are creating ourselves. We have power over 1 person and that is ourselves. 

And as we do all that is in our power to work on ourselves, it is then that we will find what we are looking for.