He's Not Good Enough For You

"He/She's not good enough for you." 

How often after break-ups (or even before!) have we heard this phrase from our friends and family?

*fingers crossed* I'm not the only one who is more familiar with this phrase than I'd like to be.

This phrase is said for two main reasons: 

The first-- because of the many "faults" others find in your non-true love. 

Whether this stems from them having no job, living with their with parents, never paying for anything, not being as attractive physically as you, having a crude personality, being a little too touchy feel-y than parents or even friends tend to appreciate... anything really--

It doesn't take much to find the negative of a situation. 

Even if its really not a negative thing at all.

I discovered this list of 5 signs "he's not good enough for you" on a random blog post that I found to be fantastically accurate.

Surprisingly enough, it was written by a guy.

# 1: He never criticizes you.

In his vocabulary, if he has only “oh my God, you’re so nice” kinda expressions — either he is too needy or very much politically correct. A true man will help you to find out your negative point so that you can turn it into positive. Though it doesn't mean, he should always criticize either. A true man also knows, after the rains when to add sunshine to create the rainbow in your life.

# 2: You need to always encourage him

If, every time you talk, you need to find yourself to encourage him to follow his instinct, to follow what he wants to achieve, it’s time to move on. If you need to be catalyst for him, who would be your catalyst! So focus on your energy and spend it on your own life.

# 3: He always compares you with other girls.

You all know – life is not a competition, it’s a journey. And we are all on a journey, to find the true meaning of our life, to become what we passionate about, to create something to make the difference. There is nothing to do with what the other person is doing or what they have, or to focus on how you rank in comparison to others. It’s all about what we want to follow, and where we want to go. If he doesn’t respect your real being, you know what to do next.

# 4: He can't pay for anything

Yeah, yeah, there are such people. In billing time – either he is busy with talking in the phone or he needs to go to the toilet. Maybe he would have some change problem: “Honey, do you have any change? You know, I do carry only Credit Cards.” Change that creditable working-bee. But it doesn’t mean he should always pay either.

# 5: His six-pack is his best asset

There is nothing wrong to be in the arms of new-age Hercules – sometimes they are very helpful to smack those cheeky teasers. But if it’s his best asset, you're all likelihood too good for him.

STATUARY WARNING: There are no perfect human in this world, only perfect intentions. Are his intentions perfect enough? If yes, hang on.

I super love that ending. "Are his intentions perfect enough? If yes, hang on." 

Absolutely beautiful. 

And I agree.

But moving on.. 

Reason #2:

You're told that "He/She's not good enough for you because face it, some's throwing you a pity party due to the fact that you just discarded your best friend and social life.

I can't even begin to express how much I hate people doing this to me. (The pity party, not discarding me. Although really, both.)

I realized the other day that in every single one of my relationships, they've ended with me still liking the other person, no matter who broke things off.

You see, at one point I was so attached and cared about this person so much, that I doubt I could ever not still see them that way. Of course I'm going to be upset with them and frustrated but to ever be able to egg their house or agree with the people that tell me that, "He's not good enough for you"...?? Impossible.

I'll be honest--as usual-- and admit that I think I am pretty fantastic most of the time. 

Yeah yeah yeah I'm a clingy pain the the butt who blurts rude things out and still has an immensely narrow perspective, but hey, I think I have a few redeeming qualities about me.

Does that give me license to agree with all the people who think they're comforting me with the phrase "He's not good enough for you"?

NO!

The great thing is, whether I have license to or not, it doesn't matter because when it comes down to it, I'm fiercely loyal to the ones I really care about. Sure, they may have unfavorable qualities that others dock them points for, but they are still amazing people-- just in a way that is different from my own. 

So if I'm single and you think its cute to crack a poor joke about one of my ex's or make the comment that, "He's not good enough for you," don't. 

Take it from a different perspective: 

What if someone was chatting with you one day and said, "I think its a good thing you guys broke up. You're not good enough for him anyways." 

I had that happen once.

Kinda. 

She was actually stating the opposite and I misunderstood but I was more hurt over her correction than the original statement directed towards my own unworthiness.

It breaks my heart that the vocalization of that statement is not giving recognition to how truly fantastic both people are. 

Just in their own way.

Maybe it should just be, "He's not right for you."